Not all marriages succeed. The end of a relationship can be a relief to some people, but it can also be an extremely stressful event. Even the partner who decides to separate may experience a wide range of emotions and intense feelings which may be painful or difficult, such as grief, guilt, anger, confusion, fear, shame, and anxiety. If the divorcing couples have children, the stress level is likely to be even higher.
While you are going through the process of divorce, it is important to keep the channels of communication wide open. The right divorce advice from our experienced therapists can help you to feel more comfortable and sane during this difficult period. At times it may seem impossible to communicate effectively when both partners are going through emotional phase. However remaining at the very least polite and cooperative is very important if you have children. You may be separating, but you are going to be parents the rest of your lives.
Some of the common factors that lead to divorce
- Infidelity is the number one reason why people seek divorce
- Financial problems and disagreements about money
- Physical and emotional abuse, and/or abuse of chemical substances
- Inequality in marriage, particularly regarding chores or care for children
- Lack of commitment, including marrying at an early age or marrying the wrong person
- Communication issues or a tendency to argue
- Unrealistic assumptions about what marriage would be like
How counselling helps
When a marriage ends, it can often be emotionally traumatic and painful for both partners. In order to adjust with the process of separation, which can be mentally, physically, and financially draining, a couple who is divorcing may choose to seek counselling.
[dt_sc_pullquote type=”pullquote1″ align=”right” icon=”yes” textcolor=”#8224e3″]Some people see divorce as a personal failure. A counsellor can help such people gain a new perspective about their relationship and make sense about the end of marriage.[/dt_sc_pullquote]
Divorce counselling is generally done on an individual basis. People who are going through a divorce often experience feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, depression, grief and shame. Taking help from a therapist can offer an objective and rational point of view and arm a person with the required skills to work through the difficulties of the divorce. With Divorce counselling, separating couple’s are able to learn more about themselves and come to see the life transition as a moment for growth and personal development.
With therapy individuals may be able to learn more about what they require and desire from a marriage, and may discover more about their own personal nature and characteristics.
Separation counselling is also useful for couples who are going through a divorce. With help from a therapist, couples are better able to achieve dissolution of the marriage in a healthy, constructive fashion. A counsellor can act as a mediator and give advice to ensure that the divorce is achieved with minimal hostility and emotional damage.
[dt_sc_pullquote type=”pullquote1″ align=”right” icon=”yes” textcolor=”#8224e3″]A Divorce Therapist can also help address relevant matters, such as living arrangements, financial obligations, and parenting responsibilities.[/dt_sc_pullquote]
Coping with separation and divorce
- Understand that it is normal to have different feelings. It is not unusual to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, confused and ashamed—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel worried about the future. Believe that reactions like these will reduce over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the uncertain is frightening.
- Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for some time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you are used to for a little while. Everyone needs a break after a setback. Take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
- Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this difficult period. There are support groups available that you can join to talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.
At The Family Enhancement Centre, we have a team of highly trained and experienced therapists who can offer effective therapy for separation and divorce. Our separation and divorce counselling services are designed to help couples who are at different stages of separation. Some of our clients seek therapy to make a decision regarding whether to stay in a marriage or not. Some seek our help to make a transition from being married to being single again. We can help address your different concerns regarding separation / divorce in individual or couple therapy sessions.
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We are a full service counselling centre dedicated to helping you achieve and maintain a state of wellness for yourself and your family.