People often adopt the parenting strategies of their own parents, usually without making a conscious decision to do so.
It seems the easiest path. Throughout our lives, we become accustomed to our parents’ approach, with an underlying logic that is familiar to us. It makes sense to us, even if outsiders may look on in bewilderment!
Many parents used a model called “directive parenting”, where every task must be completed right away, obedience is the main virtue, and respect for parents is an automatic right.
Many of us think this kind of black-and-white approach the most reliable and convenient – even in the twenty-first century. “Our parents’ method is the only one we knew. If it worked for them, it should work for us too!”
Remember, our parents may have copied that model from their parents.
But these directive, rigid parenting methods lack effectiveness. Children do not automatically share all the values of their parents. This is the proverbial “generation gap” or the “culture gap”.
Children are individuals. Therefore, parenting styles need to be individualized.
So, don’t let it surprise you if your children ignore the same requests that successfully motivated you when you were a little boy or a girl.
It is not mandatory to be like your parents. Your parenting story may be happier if instead of duplicating your parents’ strategies, you exercise creativity and acceptance.