Practicing Mindfullness

These tendencies are part of what it means to be human. They can also cause us problems and needless suffering. Focusing on the future can lead to worry and anxiety, most often about things that will never happen. Ruminating on events from the past can lead to distress and regret about things that are no longer in our control. In the process, we miss a once-in-a-lifetime experience that each moment offers. We don't really take in the people around us, the natural beauty of the surroundings, or the sights, sounds, and other sensations that are here right now.

Our constant and automatic effort to judge things as either for us or against us also creates unnecessary pain. We often end up resisting things we do not like, even when such resistance is futile. A perfect example is raging against the weather- no amount of cursing will make the rain stop, and we will only frustrate ourselves in the process.

The practice of mindfulness offers an antidote to both these habits.

Presence

Mindfulness is as simple as bringing our awareness to the present. That is it. If you're walking the dog, pay attention to that experience. Sometimes when we learn what mindfulness is, we say, “I already know that I'm walking the dog. I know I'm having lunch. How is that supposed to be helpful?” But mindfulness is more than knowing that we are doing something. It's about going deeper, intentionally cultivating a connection with our experience. We don't just walk the dog- we notice the colour of the sky, the feel of the ground under our feet, the sounds our dog makes, the periodic pulls on the leash. It's opening our awareness to elements of our experience that we normally miss.

At the same time, a mindful approach doesn't require that we do anything in addition to what we are engaging in. We can discover the richness in our reality, even in the most mundane activities. Second, when we are present, we are not ruminating about the past or fearing future, which is a big part of why mindfulness practice reduces anxiety and depression.

Acceptance

The second core feature of mindful awareness is acceptance, which means opening to our experience as it unfolds. When we stop fighting against the way things are, we relieve an enormous portion of our stress.

For example, Dave has a very difficult supervisor, he often finds himself tied up in his thoughts as he tries to make sense of how unreasonable the supervisor was. Finally, he reaches to a point of accepting that she could be difficult, period. His acceptance didn't change her behaviour, but it did free him from acting as if she were doing something surprising. A crucial part of acceptance is that it lets us respond appropriately to the facts in front of us. Dave’s acceptance of his boss’s temperament made it clear to him that he needed to find work elsewhere, which underscores the distinction between acceptance and apathy.

How mindfulness helps

There are several ways in which mindfulness practice produces its benefits:

Greater awareness of our thoughts and emotions: When we practice paying attention more and opening to our reality, we begin to know ourselves better. We give ourselves a space required to recognize how we're thinking and feeling and, because we accept reality as it is, we don't deny our own experience.

Better control of our emotions: Greater awareness of our internal experiences helps us interrupt unhelpful trains of thought like rumination and resentment. Adopting a present focus also tends to be calming, which can loosen the grip of runaway emotions.

A different relationship with our thoughts. Our minds are continuously generating thoughts. As we allow these thoughts to come and go during mindfulness practice, we start to give less weight to them. We learn that they are simply ideas created by our minds, and not necessarily a reflection of anything meaningful.

Decreased reactivity: As our relationship with our thoughts evolves, we become less prone to habitual reactions, which are often not in our best interest. Mindfulness can provide a pause before we act on our initial impulse, giving us enough time to choose a response that fits our goals and values.

If you need professional help to address your mental health concerns with mindfulness, please contact The Family Enhancement Centre to book your appointment.