Deciding to have therapy can be a very difficult decision. Maybe you made the decision yourself, or someone in your life suggested you have therapy, or someone in your life is insisting you have therapy. Regardless of how you got to this decision, the next step is where to find therapy. Should you see a psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist, or social worker? These all sound so similar, but each of these professionals has a different educational and practice background. Often your decision is based on factors such as what your health care benefits cover. Next comes one of the hardest steps: choosing a therapist. In therapy you and your therapist will form a therapeutic relationship. Maybe the word relationship sounds intense, but this is the person to whom you are going to confide your personal and private thoughts and feelings, perhaps information you have never shared with anyone else. So, you need to be comfortable with and trust your therapist. It needs to be a good fit. But how do you know whether the therapist you are choosing is going to be right for you? Let’s take the example where you have therapy services available to you through your workplace’s Employee Assistance Program. You contact the provider, and they ask what you are looking for in a therapist, or they direct you to a website where you see photos and biographies of each therapist. You can use different criteria to filter through the choices – gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion, experience. You can look at the photos to see who might stand out to you. You can read the biographies and see which therapist’s experience aligns with the issues you are struggling with. I often compare choosing a therapist to dating. You look over the photos and biographies to decide who will be best suited to you like using a dating app, or someone has recommended a therapist to you like a blind date. Some employer benefit programs allow you to have a short phone or video consultation with one or more different therapists before choosing. But the reality is that photos, biographies, and consultations are just snapshots of your therapist, and while you might have a sense in the 1st therapy session if they are right for you, it might take a few sessions for you to know for sure.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “ I should be handling this better ,” you’re far from alone. So many of us move through our days carrying a quiet hum of self-criticism: that subtle background noise whispering that we’re not doing enough, not coping well enough, not enough in some vague but relentless way.

Gratitude has become one of those words that's easy to say but hard to truly feel. Every November, as the year starts to wind down, we're reminded to "focus on the positives" and "count our blessings". It's meant to be uplifting but for many people, that invitation doesn't land as gently as intended. Because sometimes, gratitude feels complicated. You might know, logically, that you have things to be thankful for - a roof over your head, people who care, moments of comfort. But knowing that doesn't always translate into feeling grateful, especially when life has been heavy. When loss, exhaustion, or quiet disappointments have piled up, "being thankful" can feel more like a performance than a practice. And pretending you're okay when you're not doesn't create gratitude... it creates guilt.

Your heart pounds. Your mind won't stop. You tell yourself its just nerves , but what if it's more than that?

Most of us enter relationships knowing that compromise is necessary. But knowing that and knowing when a compromise has tipped into self-abandonment are two very different things. The difference isn’t always obvious; it often lives in tone, pattern, and context. A single act (e.g. agreeing to visit your partner’s family instead of your own this weekend) could be a healthy gesture of flexibility or a small betrayal of yourself. It depends on what came before, what it costs you, and whether you had real choice.

In therapy, I often remind clients: “ It’s rarely the last drop that’s the problem. It’s everything else that came before it. ” Ever notice how a cup of coffee only holds so much before it spills everywhere? It’s safe to say that stress works in the same way.

Honest reflections on what allyship means in practice (and what it doesn't mean)

Let’s Talk Body Image & Self-Esteem

Suicide Prevention Month:  What Every Loved One Should Know