Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride?
What Wedding Season Might Be Stirring Beneath the Surface
The sun is shining, the invitations are rolling in, and suddenly every weekend seems booked with showers, speeches, and slow dances. For some, wedding season brings joy. For others, especially those who find themselves in supporting roles again and again, it can stir a quiet, aching question:
Why not me?
While this phrase might seem lighthearted or even cliché, it can hold a surprising amount of emotional weight. Let’s talk about what’s often left unspoken.
When celebration feels like a mirror
Weddings are meant to celebrate love but they can also highlight what feels missing. Watching someone else’s “big moment” can reflect back your own longing, doubts, or grief. And here’s the thing: this doesn’t make you bitter. It makes you human.
You might notice:
- A growing discomfort with being the "support person" again
- Resurfacing feelings from a breakup you thought you'd moved past
- An internal question: "is there something wrong with me?"
The answer is no. But the feelings? They’re very real. And they deserve attention.
Grief in a bridesmaid dress
There’s a kind of grief that doesn’t get flowers or condolences: the grief of unmet expectations. The dream you had about being married by now, having children by a certain age, or even just feeling chosen. When those things haven’t happened, it can hurt.
And yet, because this grief isn’t “publicly acceptable,” many suppress it. That internal dismissal ("This is silly, I should be happy for them") often piles shame on top of sadness.
In therapy, we give that grief space to breathe. We validate it. Because loss doesn’t need to be loud to be significant.
is it really about the wedding?
Here’s a surprising truth: the emotions that show up during wedding season often aren’t about marriage at all. They’re about:
- Longing to be seen and valued
- A craving for belonging or emotional security
- The hope for a relationship that feels mutual, safe, and lasting
The wedding becomes a symbol, but what’s underneath is a very real desire for connection. Therapy can help disentangle the symbol from the substance, and help you understand what you genuinely want.
breaking the myth of the "right" timeline
Maybe you expected to be married by now. Maybe everyone around you is, and the pressure is building.
But there’s no universal timeline for life. Our culture tends to package fulfillment into predictable steps (love, marriage, children) but personal growth doesn’t follow a linear path. Some of the most meaningful relationships begin later in life. And some of the most fulfilling lives aren’t built around romantic milestones at all.
The real question is: What kind of life feels meaningful to you?
That’s where therapy can help, by separating the noise of expectation from the clarity of your own voice.
an invitation to turn inward
So, while others are planning centerpieces and playlists, perhaps your season looks different. Maybe it’s about reconnecting with yourself. Or rebuilding after disappointment. Or learning to love your life exactly as it is.
This can be a powerful time to ask:
- What parts of me have I put on hold?
- What narratives am I ready to rewrite?
- Who am I outside of who I thought I should be?
You’re allowed to take up space in your own story, not just in someone else’s.
you don't need to figure it out alone
If wedding season has left you feeling raw, stuck, or unseen, we’re here to support you. Counselling offers a space to explore all of it: the joy, the grief, the pressure, the hope.
Whether you're navigating heartbreak, reimagining your future, or simply needing someone to talk to who gets it, our therapists are ready to walk alongside you.
You are worthy of love. Right now.
Not just when someone chooses you, not just when you walk down the aisle.
Now. Just as you are.
If this season is heavy, let’s talk about it.
Reach out today—you don’t have to carry it alone.
