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Knock on the door!

Maryna Svitasheva, Ph.D.
Jan 17, 2022

It is such an interesting thing – the door to the kid’s room!

It has its story. It protects the child from extra noise and then needs to be closed. It also protects from darkness and then needs to be ajar to let some light in. It may comfort. It may keep secrets. It may invite worry or curiosity. It may look like an awkward, unnecessary attribute of the home once children grow up and “leave the nest”.

What the door to the kid’s room does mostly – is create personal space for them. The door creates a boundary for their personal territory both physically and in other ways too. Developing personal boundaries may start here. And then so many good things will find their origin:

  • personal responsibility
  • awareness of one’s own needs
  • independence from other’s opinions
  • the ability to say “No!” or to choose “Yes!”

But don’t believe that having a door is enough on its own. The door’s decisive value belongs to the way of operating it. The door should be respected! Only then can the child’s door may work as a boundary to their personal space, able to teach children to respect their personal boundaries.

You can show your respect by just knocking on the door. It is best to start early. The child plays in that room independently and considers the space their own. Your child may want to keep the door open. And even then, it is right to knock before stepping in. It is good also to make some agreement with the child, which might be different from one family to another: you step inside after the response, or you wait for 3 seconds, or you don’t wait, or the door will be opened from inside, or something else.

Knock on the kid’s room door, and it won’t be locked from inside!

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