Virtual infidelity? What? Yes, it’s a thing, and it’s just as damaging as physical infidelity. Virtual infidelity is a form of emotional infidelity where partners start to draw away from each other and creates room for distrust, hurtful feelings, and damaged relationships. While it seems small and often happens unintentionally, chatting with people who are not your friends or family can cause harm in relationships.

Have you found yourself liking a TikTok video and starting a conversation with the creator, hitting up a former partner on Facebook, or talking to a co-worker who gives you a little spark out of work through text or social media? Starting these conversations can add “interest” to your daily routine if your current relationship isn’t all sunshine and roses. It’s a great feeling to have someone interested in your day, the excitement of waiting for the following message, and, maybe, they are easier to relate to than your current partner. But be careful… These feelings or the need to communicate with someone outside of the partnership who is not a trusted friend are warning signs that something is missing in your current relationship.

When the other partner finds out about the talking/chatting, their feelings may be hurt. The questions of why not talk with me (your partner), why not a friend, why not a family member, and, more so, why someone who may be “sparking” other desires start running through your partner’s mind? They begin to wonder what’s wrong with them and what else is going on if they love them. Soon the rift in the relationship becomes the Grand Canyon and is more challenging to repair.

The communication breakdown, loss of trust, withdrawal from each other, lowered self-esteem in your partner, resentment, and other harmful effects from finding out about the virtual infidelity starts taking a toll. Maybe it is discussed between the two of you, or there’s just continued anger, pain, abandonment, bitterness and so forth. The relationship continues to tear apart.
Counsellors can help with couples counselling and assist you individually to find out what’s missing in the relationship or address previous issues. With commitment and time, the current relationship can be healed.


If you and your partner are struggling to overcome challenges, please call us today.