Therapy Isn’t Always “Fun” — and That’s Okay.
When your child walks out of a therapy session, it's only natural to want to know how it went. You might be tempted to ask: “Was it good?” or “Did you have fun today?”
While, these questions come from a place of care and you want your child to enjoy the experience, feel comfortable, and hopefully benefit from therapy. Those seemingly simple questions can unintentionally send the wrong message about what therapy is meant to be.
So, Let’s break it down. Therapy Isn’t Always “Fun” — and That’s Okay.
Therapy, especially for children, can involve playing, drawing, and storytelling — things that look fun on the surface. But underneath that, your child may be exploring emotions that are confusing, painful, or uncomfortable. They may be learning to sit with big feelings, talking about hard things, or working through difficult memories. When we ask, “Did you have fun?”, it can create pressure for therapy to be lighthearted or enjoyable every time — and that’s not realistic or helpful.
Therapy isn’t always about being “good” or “bad.” A session might feel emotionally heavy but be incredibly important for growth. Another session might be calm and quiet, which doesn't mean progress wasn’t made.
When we frame therapy with a “thumbs up or down” lens, kids might:
- Feel unsure how to answer honestly
- Think they’re doing something wrong if it wasn’t “fun”
- Avoid talking about tough emotions because they think therapy is supposed to be “happy”
The goal is to keep communication open, supportive, and pressure-free. If your child does want to share, just listen. Let them lead the conversation. Celebrate their willingness to engage, without needing all the details. One of the best ways to support your child in therapy is to show consistent, gentle encouragement. Trust the process and even if you don’t always see immediate results. Therapy is like planting seeds. Growth happens slowly, beneath the surface, before you ever see the bloom.
Want to keep the conversation flowing?
Try these instead:
- “Welcome back — I’m glad you’re doing this work.”
- “I’m here if you ever want to share something about your time today.”
- “It’s okay if therapy feels different every time.”
- “You’re really brave for going.”
